Desconsos Part 5: “be holy, be wild, be irreverent…”

dragonshighThe Value of experiencing my whore archetype. – not necessarily related to sex, but more around my value, my worth…

2008 was my year to get messy, to royally mess up, to be way out of integrity.

*Cup half full: It has been such a relief to stop MANAGING; Always adamant about getting complete, cleaning up, avoiding conflict, making nice.  – my friends have been begging for my bitch, my messiness, and more recently to let out Mamma Dragon – my rage, outside of the workshop setting (participating or leading)… Continue reading

Desconsos Part 4: As long as women play Dumb

The inquiry continues…

“Stupid…”

The Prove I’m Smart  & Playing Dumb mind-game.

“Stupid Idiot!” a name my mother yelled at me often growing up. (bless her heart) “Are you

stupid?”  my third grade teacher asked me, probably more of a statement than a question. Continue reading

Desconsos Part 3: Take a Chance…

“…one learns that we need not fear (these) initiations, these times of breaking apart. The soul cannot grow or change without them. What the human ego or the human body experience as traumas, the soul instantly recognizes as opportunities to shed what is no longer needed. When the heart is broken, the soul is released from its prior constellations. It begins the ancient process of dissolution, dismemberment, and new life. The soul rushes toward rebirth…”
Kimberley Patton
beyondthenight jessica hadari

My Relationship to my Worth…and what I Value

“Take a Chance You Stupid Ho.” read the back of a shirt I wore recently Continue reading

Descansos Part 2: Weather or Not to be Bitter

“There is a time in our lives, usually midlife, when a woman has to make a decision – Possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life – about whether to be bitter or not…”
- Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., Women Who Run with the Wolves
fork-in-the-road jessica hadari

Whether to be bitter or not:

Until recently I had a Jessica-in-a-chokehold belief that I should never partner or become a parent ever again, due to my expression of anger and how it showed up in my marriage and in my parenting. Continue reading

Descansos Part 1: Marking the Small & Big Deaths

grief jessica hadari Descansos: Resting places. Symbols that mark a death…

A few weeks ago (around the same time a woman in my women’s circle was diagnosed with cancer) my women’s circle began the Descansos process, taken from the book Women Who Run with the Wolves. In this process I took the time (several weeks, in this case) to look at the time-line of my life birth to now and mark where the small deaths and big deaths have taken place; All of the moments in my life where I experienced impact;

Or loss;

Or where there was a fork in the road and I took one path, when I could have taken another;

Or where I experienced an event which changed the way I thought/believed about myself, the world, about men, about women… Continue reading