Growing a business is more often than not, a dance with the unknown, and therefore with Fear. Grow your relationship with the Unknown…and to Fear
Fear is actually taking care of us. Part of an ancient mechanism for survival. Forging means, to use heat to bring the material to a malleable state. As we expand our businesses our cycles of fear and stretching into the unknown are the heat which forges us into stronger and more malleable beings
Let’s look at fear. Fear is omnipresent in the process of growth. Just as babies become more needy and in need of more attention the week before they start to walk – Fear is a part of our experience of S T R E T C H I N G – cycles of stretch and then relax, stretch and relax – like the movement of the Earth’s crust, like the movement of breath flowing in, and breath flowing out – the experience of stretching is often synonymous with our experience of fear.
I think of fear in business as The Stretch between the the parts of ourselves that want to be more fully in the light and the parts of us that are working furiously to hide:
- The stretch between The Shadow (which is always at work to bring isolated aspects of yourself into the light) always brings up newer, richer material for you to work through – your Soul’s life lessons.
- And the Negative Ego (the idealized self – what we wish we could be) what we effort and strive for / against
So what to do with all of this?
1) Name the Fear through inquiry:
a. what parts would like to hide?
b. What message/lesson does this part of you want YOU to receive?
Eg, “The part of me that wants to hide is my Heart-opened Leadership. This part is telling me that I may want to reconsider collaborating with Jenny.”a. What parts want to be seen?
b. What message/lesson does this part of you want YOU to receive?
Eg, “the part of me that wants to be seen is the Diplomat. This part is telling me that I need to communicate my needs to jenny more clearly.”2) Give a jewel of wisdom:
a. If the part that wants to hide needed a jewel of wisdom or a gift – what, would YOU give/say to that part?
b. If the part that wants to be seen needed a jewel of wisdom or a gift – what, would YOU give/say to that part?
3) Honor these parts: Make a commitment which honors them
Eg, “Either way I will need to communicate to Jenny, so I will take care of my Fear by doing _____ and saying _____”
4) Honor yourself: Make a commitment to yourself
Eg, “I will take a long luxurious bath 2x per week” or “I commit to reciting a positive affirmation around this matter anytime I feel this fear” . . .
Tend to yourself. Do it!
The Positive Ego (the true self unencumbered by doubt, of fear) desires to move forward into the unknown. The positive ego facilitates and embraces all of your parts – here is the throne of our experience of compassion, for others and for ourselves.
Growing your relationship to the unknown: What we cannot Be with will not let us Be…either you are going to use it, or it may use you…
Harness your fear – it is a powerful Sign Post that some bigger learning is just around the corner for you. We cannot always make fear go away – and perhaps we don’t even want it to – like Anger, Fear is a great motivator and transformative force. Look it in the face, taking a stance of curiosity. Wonder about it. Allow yourself to fully feel it.
Fear to Choice
Fear to Intuition
Fear to Presence
Fear to Body Wisdom
Fear to Intention
Fear to Accountability
Fear to Congruency
Etc…
Fear is a great tool. Usually, if we fear something, it is because that something is unknown. Being unknown means we have never encountered it before, which means we are moving forward. The most important thing about fear is to understand why we feel it and then, like any obstacle in life, to face it, and overcome it.
I love it! thank you…
Very good article, Jessica. FDR said the only thing to fear is fear itself, but as a business owner I’ve come to understand that we shouldn’t fear Fear, but to embrace it, because it often means we’re moving in the right direction. Fear is a response to ‘death’ in some form. Achieving our dreams is a death of our old life, and birth of our dreams.
Thank you for that Peter. Mmmm I like that – the death of our old life…
…here a a couple of my favorite quotes about fear(lessness)
“I will not die an unlived life, I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom, and that which came to me as blossom goes on as fruit.”
~Dawna Markova
there comes a day when the effort it takes to remain tight inside the
bud becomes more painful than the effort it takes to blossom…
-Anais Nin