Whether to be bitter or not:

Until recently I had a Jessica-in-a-chokehold belief that I should never partner or become a parent ever again, due to my expression of anger and how it showed up in my marriage and in my parenting. This was a belief that was covered by layers of masks and veils – I only discovered the belief, so clear and blunt, recently. Every workshop I have taken in the past 10 years (since before even becoming a parent) has been a cry for help regarding my anger and an Epic Journey towards learning how to live with “it” and myself. As I viewed myself as unfit for partnership or parenting, I became really good at attracting men who loved me but did not want me as a partner (imagine!) and I have been resentful of myself as a parent.

I found myself at a fork in the Road of my Life as a Woman:

- On one road I live the rest of my life partner-less, childless, battling my anger, trying to make it go away, loathing myself – pretending to not be bitter…

- On the other road I have my anger (it does not have me)I harness the power of my emotions to fuel my passion, creativity and who I Be -  and I allow partnership and children into my colorful and love-filled, passion-filled life.

A new possibility for myself:

This passage above from Women Who Run with the Wolves brought me to clarity why I chose to enroll in the year long The Coaching Program (lead by Bryan Franklin) this year. Attracted to the material of the Program I wanted a whole year to *grab my anger by the horns,*

I want a life partner and I want more children – I want to use the material of the program to harness the “Mamma Dragon”, to

stop compartmentalizing her,

stop disassociating from my anger

to BE my anger, to let it be Me and my Passion – for Me, to fuel Me – to be whole with all the parts of myself (more than worth the tuition of program!)

My “at steaks?”:

my Life and what I Want!

Getting back my Passion for Parenthood.

Having and holding A Beloved in my Life

I am experiencing myself unleashing my shadow!

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