In a deceivingly simple process I practiced recently with a few of my women’s circles, one woman holds up a mirror in front of the woman seated just next to her.

When the woman holding the mirror feels that the woman being reflected really sees herself, the mirror holder and then the rest of the circle gives that woman appreciation for both her inner and outer beauty. Some of us have known each other for a while; The appreciations often go on organically for ten minutes or longer. Women all have different and sometimes edgy experiences of receiving this directed attention and reflection.

In one circle we were all joking about the mirror that we were using, which was partially cracked – That old saying that broken mirrors lead so seven years of bad luck

My dear friend and long time fellow circler offered some wisdom. Stella, has a Ph.D in psychology. I was not surprised that the poetic words that flowed from her in a lovely French accent took root…

She offered that the old wives’ tale was perhaps a metaphor. That in our lives each person we relate with is indeed a reflection of our self; not a new idea, no. – Yet went on to say that when we are faced with these reflections via our relationships, we can either take in the reflection and really see what there is to see and possibly grow from that seeing

-or- we can reach out and break the mirror, by ending the relationship or by constructing conditions in which we do not face the reflection.

But in doing so, in breaking the mirror, we perhaps cheat ourselves of could have been seven years of growth and deeper seeing of ourselves…

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